I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
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