o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
