I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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