But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
