Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
