We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize