My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
