Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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