Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
