marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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