we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
