i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Randomize
