So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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