I think i peed on brittanys purse
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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