Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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