you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
