Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
