Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
