How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
