someone threw a dead crab at me
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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