On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
