I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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