theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
