Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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