he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
