Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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