his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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