dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
