If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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