You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Randomize
