I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Do vagina's smell?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
