that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
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