I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I think my moral compass just broke
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize