she woke up with a sticky ear
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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