Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Randomize
