Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
