on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
