I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize