Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
