This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
