dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
