Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Randomize
