What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Randomize
