the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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