Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
