I want to have your abortion
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
