i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
