I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
