would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
bring money and cleavage
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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