I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
