nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Slut skills are useful in every country.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
