Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
