I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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