WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
