I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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