Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
