Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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