Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
My dad just said "fuck circus"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
