Why does Corona taste like a burp?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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