i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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