i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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